Marisa Peer's Heart To Heart Advice Column
Marisa Peer, named Best Therapist by Men's Health Magazine writes in the Sunday People to one concerned reader. Many thanks for the mention Marisa we appreciate your support!
Q. I'm a 44 year old mum of three and I seem to have lost sensation down below. I don't want to have sex with my husband any more and I think that if I can't feel it then he probably can't either.
I also leak urine a bit when I have an orgasm or sneeze, I am so embarrassed and don't know what to do. Please don't tell me to see my Doctor as I would not be able to talk about it. Even if I could have an operation to fix it. I can't take time off and would struggle with childcare.
I have also heard surgery is painful and not that effective. I can't talk to my husband and I feel so ashamed like an old granny. Shelley
A. Your husband probably does not notice to the same extent and you mention having orgasms so it seems you have lost tightness rather than sensation.
Many women find they get muscle weakening after childbirth so they lose sensation and can leak a bit when they cough or laugh. It is easily fixed with pelvic floor muscle strengthening moves called Kegel exercises but it takes time to see the results.
Instead you can buy a Kegel8 Pelvic Floor Toner - a small probe you insert. It contracts your muscles and is painless. It works quickly and is so discreet you can do it whilst watching TV in bed or and no one will ever know.